Day 2 – I Will Care Less about What Others Think
I have heard this is the great mental switch of your thirties. Suddenly, the opinions of others are just not important. Well, if that happens automatically, dear God, sign me up!
I have always been the internal victim of others’ opinions. Shockingly, those other people have always seemed completely unaware of the damage they inflict. I am beginning to think I am the common denominator there. This pain gets amplified with children because suddenly everything they do is somehow Mommy’s fault. I will be honest: between my son’s strong-willed and aggressive (but clever, hilarious, and charming) personality and his recent decision to quit naps, I am afraid to leave the house some days. Today, I have to deal with both library story time and preschool class during church. I have had to drag him and the baby kicking and screaming out of more than a few social functions and been on the receiving end of real or imagined mean mugs from parents of what I can only assume are docile and compliant children.
I kid. Sort of.
Really, though, this issue isn’t about my kids, my stuff, or any external factors. It is about my internal understanding of who I am. That identity is a mangled wreck or an empty shell without an understanding of who I am in Christ. My security, my identity, is wrapped up in Him, and if I can wrap my head and my heart around that, I never have to suffer a bit of worry about what someone else thinks of me. Of course, I just have to remind myself of that. Frequently. So, for today, no imagined looks, no obsessing over how many people view this blog, no freak outs if the kids aren’t perfect, no putting more responsibility on my ability to live up to others’ real or perceived expectations. So, for the record, I am not perfect. Now that that is out in the open, perhaps I can be less bothered when people think it.